Something’s terribly wrong, I’m writing too many nice articles about people I don’t want to murder. Last time it was Sachin Nair, and this time it’s this dude wheeling away on his carrot Kawasaki. There are a lot of things I can say about a lot of different people in this post, but I’ll try to keep it as less confusing and offensive as possible.
Motorcycle Video Logging, or MotoVlogging, is relatively new to India. There are quite a few international vloggers who have gathered millions of followers in the last few years, although most of them produce repetitive, vile, blingy garbage that I don’t give a shit about. I have seen videos from a number of Indian vloggers, but barely anyone made any sense to me.
Most of them seem too infatuated with these international douchebags, copying everything they do and adding nothing of their own except some horrible accents. I don’t understand why they do what they do, blogging or vlogging is meant to be an expression of your personal opinions. If all you’re going to do is blindly follow some other dumb motherfucker, why not join Autocar?
But surprisingly, and quite unfortunately, the guy with probably the biggest fanbase is Rahul Mazumder. I could write an entire article titled “6 reasons why I hate that guy”, but I won’t. It’s sucks so much that nowadays negative publicity doesn’t count for shit, it’s in fact the preferred way to be famous. The more I’ll talk about Rahul, the more people will know about him, and you can bet your black hairy buttcheeks you don’t want to irreversibly fuck up your life with that knowledge.
But then again, somebody has to talk.
Many things can be said about Mr. Zohair Ahmed too, like stunting on public roads is a stupid idea, or wearing only shitty Probiker gloves while popping a wheelie is an even stupider one. If you check out his channel, you can probably find every possible traffic rule being broken at some point, all nicely arranged for public online access. But I don’t really care about that.
I like the way he thinks, and they way he is not afraid to say it. Maybe he’s too young to care, but what I find the most remarkable about this whole video is that it’s one straight shot, one fucking never ending unedited straight shot. I tried to make a vlog once, and it sucked so hard I couldn’t even bear to edit that bastard. Whatever thoughts he has, he knows how to express them without retakes.
But who am I to say that Zohair is right and Rahul is wrong? Who is Zohair to say that Rahul is wrong? I have done enough stupid things in my life to shame Lindsey Lohan, so I really shouldn’t be pointing fingers, but here’s the difference between me and Rahul. I’ve created horrible articles, but I grew out of them. He, on the other hand, seems to enjoy the pungency of his creations.
It’s like your biological weapon grade fart that you absolutely love to smell, but which make others puke their intestines out their faces.
I can’t, with a straight face, ask you to NOT watch Rahul’s channel. I’m a rather weird guy, and there’s a distinct possibility that he’s actually a brilliant dude, and it’s just me who has his thumb down his butt. I will say this however, if you see it, and if you agree with me, don’t keep it to yourself, let me know in the comments.