300 kmph city flyover

Squids shocked that stupidity has consequences

Bangalore:

After posting an Instagram video of himself riding at nearly 300 kmph on a Bangalore city flyover, a biker has expressed surprise and shock at being arrested. His motorcycle was seized, and driving license immediately cancelled, after the police got tipped off to this extreme stupidity, and the publicly available evidence for it supplied by him.

Identified as 29 year old Muniyappa, his arrest and the subsequent wave of criticism against dangerous riding of this kind has drawn comments from others like himself. Rajarshi Bose, head of the Association of Nation’s United Squids (ANUS), and self-proclaimed bike rapist had this to say:

This is a horrible act of Bengaluru police, we are not criminals, we are passionate, passionate about making the worst possible choices that put other people in danger, passionate about completely destroying the public perception of all bikers, and most importantly, passionate about being absolute diseased dicks without any shame.

If riding at 300 kmph gets you arrested, everyone breaking the 60 kmph speed limit should also be arrested. If people who abort their female fetuses get arrested, then people like my parents who didn’t abort someone like me with -27 IQ should also be arrested.

I urge each one of you, keep the needle above 10000 rpm, keep the speedometer screaming at 300 kmph, and keep the steering turned towards the nearest wall. Feel like god, we will live even after we die, most probably as a small pile of rotting blood, skin, and dog shit covered in flies that will need to be carried away on a shovel.

To maintain our high journalistic standards as always, we also reached out to Muniyappa to get his side of the story:

I had masturbated 3 times already that morning and was getting a bit bored, then I suddenly remembered that my parents are so fucking tired of my shit that they had bought me a brand new 2020 Suicide1000RR for a mere 20 lacs. So I thought to myself, what better way to spend my time than ride my motorcycle on busy city roads at nearly 10 times the speed limit, record myself doing it, and then post it on the internet?

I’m very surprised to find myself arrested, it just doesn’t make any sense. I rode responsibly and safely, maintaining a minimum of 20 cm gap from other vehicles as I overtook them at 295 kmph, what else does the police want? If I had crashed into someone and died, I would’ve killed at least one innocent person as well, maybe even more if I was lucky, isn’t that what biking brotherhood is all about?

After finding out their actions can actually have results, a lot of other so-called “vloggers” have started taking down videos of themselves racing down the streets on their superbikes.

We at RZ strongly object to such cowardly behavior, Youtubers like “10r_onsteroids” and “DV” should follow the example of others like “Turbo Xtreme“, keep their videos online, and even help prove their manliness by tweeting their video links directly to the local traffic police.

4 thoughts on “Squids shocked that stupidity has consequences”

  1. Mr Rajarshi Bose has few letters missing from his name. His parents knew he would become a Bosedike and fulfill his destiny

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.