“You should respect all bikers” is a stupid thing to say



Piss off, all of you.

“You should respect all bikers” is a statement used by half-wit douchebags who don’t deserve any respect.

“You should respect all bikes” is a statement used by half-wit douchebags who own bikes that don’t deserve any respect because they are owned by half-wit douchebags.

Let’s look at this on a very basic level. What is respect? Let’s ask Google.

  1. 1.
    a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
    “the director had a lot of respect for Douglas as an actor”

Simple enough right? Now tell me this, where is the special clause for bikers? Does it say “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements, except for bikers, they are fucking awesome, so respect all of them without exceptions”?

I don’t see it.

Bikes are nothing special, it’s just half a car that falls off to a side unless you keep moving. Sitting on top of a bike does not grant you any special status, no matter how costly your toy is.

Respect is earned, respect is something that you command over time, respect is gained bit by bit. You really expect me to admire you after looking at your ugly face for 2 seconds through that open-face helmet while we passed each other at a traffic light? Really?

Think about what you theory entails. If a serial child raping, women molesting, man murdering psychopath is sitting on a motorcycle, you will respect him. If archaeologists suddenly discover a statue of Hitler doing a sick one-handed wheelie, you will respect him. If you’re hell-bent on explosively vomiting respect towards anything within a 10 feet radius, you’re bound to hit major problems.

One thing that I’ve noticed is that this is the same argument used by religious assholes to give up any responsibility about other religious assholes.

Oh they just cut the heads off 150 children, disemboweled 47 pregnant women, and starved 1 million civilians to death? That’s OK, no big deal, we should respect their beliefs and the actions that are a consequence of their beliefs, because if tomorrow we decide to cut the heads off 150 children, disembowel 47 pregnant women, and starve 1 million civilians to death, we don’t want to be called hypocrites. 

You should respect things that deserve respect, disrespect things that don’t. Don’t let some random dick fart bully you into respecting something on bullshit.

I respect bikers like Sachin, Candida, Rohit, because it’s natural. I respect this guy, this girl, and this dude, because I’ve seen them do things that make me smile.

The girl that I wrote this article about, I do not respect. I didn’t instantly disrespect her when I first saw her posts, I didn’t disrespect her when I blocked her on Instagram, and I didn’t disrespect her when I sent her a message on Facebook to hear her side of the story.

I lost respect for her when she read my article, a 2000 word argument against some obviously stupid things, and replied with #NoTimeForHaters, an argument so intellectually superior that I simply had no answer for it, an argument made popular by heroes like Jesus, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King through centuries of debates and discussions.

Do I respect her? Fuck no. Do I respect the “bikers” who push her on, who praised her “bravery” after she inevitably fell down some gorge during the Himalayan Odyssey, who are literally cheering her on as she moon-walks towards the cliff? Even lesser.

And this works both ways, I do not expect her to respect my opinions, I do not expect anyone to respect my opinions just because they are mine. Generalizations don’t even work in science, something that’s so organized and precise, how do you expect them to work for the shitfest that’s called life?

You might respect me for my written English skills, you might disrespect me for what I use those skills for. You might disrespect me for the cuss words that are sprinkled throughout my work, you might respect me for speaking without a filter.

There are thousands of comments on this website that are disrespectful to me on a personal level, and yet there they are, because none of them matter.

As far as respecting all the bikes go, that’s an even simpler game. Who gives a fuck? Bikes don’t have emotions, they don’t rant off about somebody not calling them “Sir”, they don’t give a single shit about anybody’s opinion. Respect for bikes happens on an individual basis, I respect my rickety old Pulsar 150 because it took me to Ladakh and brought me back without a single spot of bother. I didn’t respect the Benelli TnT 600i that I rode because it was a fat piece of junk with a soul possessed by Satan.

There’s nothing wrong if you anthropomorphize your bike into something bigger, give it names and shit. Do whatever makes you happy. But if someone else calls your piece of shit bike for what it is, don’t get your panties in a bunch. Get your panties in a bunch because you are a piece of shit who bought a piece of shit bike.

So the next time you find an article online bashing you, your community or the bike that you own, read it, ask yourself if what’s written is true or not. If it’s true, sell that bike, buy something better, and try to be a better person. If it’s not, start your own website and bash the bike that the writer of that article owns, and the writer as well.

None of those things will make any difference, but hey, fuck logic, it’s all about being the better man with the bigger manhood.

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  1. Rohith J Nair

    Hue hue hue hue…awesome

  2. Dhawal

    The problem with the people who tell others not to hate on someone is what they haven’t been taught. And that’s the right to have a fucking opinion. This is also exactly the same problem with religion in our country. Monkey see, monkey do.
    People need to know that someone’s opinion is completely theirs. Don’t question their opinion. Rather put forth your opinion in a way you want.

  3. Prince Sirohi


  4. akm blr

    Hey Akhil, your articles are great fun to read and offer a very different and non mainstream perspective of motorcylcing, keep it up man, those losers can go hang themselves, they sound like confused bikers from your 6 kind of bikers article 😉

    1. AK


  5. Savio Tavadia

    Yeah actually…
    why give a fuck?

  6. Rahul Sen

    I don’t mind the cuss words… but man slow down on the gore stuff…. I mean… it’s kinda scary on me wee imagination…

  7. Deepak Chowdary

    whoah….!! Take that bit*hes… 😛