meteor 350

Meteor 350 variants named for how quick they burn down: Scoop

Chennai:

After leaked reports of the Meteor 350 launch on 6th November revealed the variant names of the upcoming motorcycle from Royal Enfield, speculation was rife about what those names actually meant.

In an exclusive scoop, RZ can confirm that the 3 different variants, Fireball, Stellar, and Supernova, have been named based on how quickly the new bike commits suicide by burning itself to the ground.

We have access to leaked internal communications within RE where they discussed the problems faced with previous models, and how the new variant names will help them sort them out more professionally. Here are a few excerpts:

Other companies decide on variant names based on equipment level or paint and stuff, but in an industry first, we should actually segregate them based on our testing data that determines how long the bikes will last before they kill themselves.

Let’s call a bike that’ll most likely just have a small fuel leak and set itself on fire as, you know, Fireball, right? Short, sweet, and entirely descriptive of the purpose of that motorcycle.

For the bikes that’ll last the least amount of time, something that’ll most likely end with the chassis cracking, the alloys breaking, and the exhaust falling, all simultaneously, we should name it Supernova, what do you guys think? That name seems to convey the all-encompassing catastrophe that’ll happen without warning between the owner’s legs.

For the ones that’ll only have some level of engine failure and explosion and stuff, I’m a bit confused. “A black hole for your money” sounds a bit too wordy, how about Stellar?

Let me know what you guys think, I’d say that Fireball, Stellar, and Supernova perfectly represent the variants of a motorcycle named Meteor, which is literally a small metallic body that lives only for a few minutes and then spectacularly burns away in glory and thunder into thousands of little pieces.

The Meteor 350 replaces the pre-historic lineup of bikes that RE had been selling for generations, but the heated competition from Honda’s CB350 should make things a bit more interesting in the heavy weight – low power – but still completely manly segment around the 350cc mark.

As always, support our investigative journalism that allows us to bribe company officials so they will share confidential emails with us. Leave a bowl of milk and a quarter Old Monk outside your window tonight.

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