Many people think that a “biker” life is glamorous, all riding and chicks and burnouts and stunts and gear and speed and sound and thrill and macho and shit. Things in reality are much less blingy. Ever thought what happens when a rider goes out in the burning sun, covered from head to toe in a flavor-sealed suit of leather and armor? Yeah, that.
I spend most of my non-riding days buried under a giant pyramid of dirty laundry. Even if you are as lazy as I’m, which is nearly impossible, you’ll still need to wash at least the basic undies and tees and hankies and sockses, most of which can’t be just tossed into the washing machine and left to clean themselves.
So if you’re one of those unlucky bastards stuck at home this weekend, fear not! Below is a list of 5 biker movies that I would like you to see, guilt-free time pass of epic entertainment value guaranteed. 2 of these 3 you can watch straight online, the rest you’ll need to buy a DVD or get a copy from a friend. Here’s my list of biker movies to enjoy, more coming in the future!
Fucking brilliant! Given to me by good friend Sachin, it’s probably the best documentary I’ve ever seen. After watching Fastest, you’ll respect Rossi and MotoGP even more than you used to. Narrated by none other than the guy of Star Wars and Long Way Down fame Ewan McGregor, it’s a dazzling execution of an idea very close to every rider’s heart.
Fastest is a sequel to Faster, another movie based on a similar idea from 2003, whose name was stolen by that shitty Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson movie. I’m yet to watch Faster, but if Fastest is anything to go by, it’ll certainly kick ass. Below is a trailer to the movie, which honestly doesn’t do much justice to the entire film. Must watch!
2. The Unrideables
Raw, intense, feels almost unfinished, The Unrideables is another very interesting documentary about the Kevin Schwantz and Wayne Rainey days of insanity, when they raced 2-stroke 500cc death machines under famously unsafe conditions. It gives you an insight into what goes on in the secretive world of motorcycle racing, and how emotional an experience doing something so basic as riding a bike in circles can become. I’ll shut my pie hole now and let you watch the thing, which you can do by just clicking below, for free! Free stuff rocks. I’ll stop talking now.
3. Why we ride
A very different kind of movie, one which I still am not used to. It’s not a documentary, it’s not a fictional movie, it’s a genre in itself. Why we ride is a very famous short film which has won numerous awards and accolades. The thing that I liked the most is the presentation, incredibly beautiful slow motion shots are in abundance! It’s NOT a movie about speed or tech or racing, it’s completely about the feel of riding a motorcycle, something that is inherently impossible to explain, but I’m happy somebody tried!
4. Wild hogs
Chances are you’ve already watched it, multiple times maybe! It’s just a very nice film, never goes flat or overbearing. Think of it as The Hangover crossed with motorcycles, it’s a fun, entertaining, hilarious film about 3 friends riding their bikes in and out of trouble. Probably one of the few movies that you and your girlfriend both can enjoy, which is saying a lot, considering how ladies generally puke uncontrollably at the mere mention of 2 wheels.
5. Ed March’s Youtube channel
Would you like to watch a grown man waltz around the world on the motorcycle equivalent of a lawn mower? Welcome to the world of Ed March and his Honda C90. Watch him go naked – repeatedly, make scathing fun of BMW GS motorcycles, and do stupid things for no apparent reason. I would blame Ed for making me quit my job, I just couldn’t keep up with this IT life after watching him have so much juvenile fun on 2 wheels.
Below is one video from his channel, which documents his travel through our beloved country, India. Check out other of his videos as well, especially the one about Iran and his Hitler spoofs. Mindless, childish, utter fun. Don’t blame me though if you put your papers in on Monday and plan to live a life of crazy chutiyapanti.
That’s my list of 5 exceptional biker movies to veg-out over this weekend. I’ll try and keep adding to it as I keep finding them. If you have something to add, let me know!