Himalayan vs. Mojo vs. Daytona 675: Which one should you buy?

By | September 29, 2016

Hi Akhil, my name is Reeta RD, and I’m a big fan of RiderZone! You are unbelievably cool, and I’m certain you’re hung like an elephant. Everyone in the universe should read your articles, send you lots of money, and also donate their bikes/life savings to you since you are so unimaginably cool.

I needed a small help from you. I’m in the market for a motorcycle, and I’m a bit confused between the Royal Enfield Himalayan, the Mahindra Mojo and the Daytona 675. My budget is something between 1.5 to 15 lacs, I enjoy Saddlesores, street racing, and leaning my bike uncontrollably from left to right in front of people who have no idea what I’m doing or why. Also I’m relatively new to motorcycles, have just finished with the first service of my Honda Dio. 

Please help me make a choice here so I can choke my daddy to buy me the bike you suggest! 

Hey Reeta RD! Thanks for reaching out to me, you are so right about everything you’ve said about me *wink wink*

I’ve received similar questions from a lot of readers, people who for some fucking reason are confused between 3 seemingly unrelated motorcyles, just because all have 2 wheels, and between 4-7 gears.

Lucky for you I have ridden all 3 bikes, and I can tell you exactly what to expect from each one. So sit back and enjoy as I ejaculate tonnes of white, sticky gyaan all over your face.

Himalayan vs. Mojo. vs. Daytona 675: Speed

I was able to do roughly 135 kmph on the Himalayan, 150 on the Mojo, and 230 on the Daytona.

What’s important to understand here is that the first two bikes were like close to their limit at those speeds, the Triumph still had a gear left. The only reason I couldn’t go any faster was because I was afraid of shitting inside my pants, and wasn’t wearing adult diapers at the time.

You have a clear winner in the Daytona here, because speed IS everything. I mean sure, riding the 675 for an hour twists your back into a shape that makes it look like you are constantly asking for triple penetration, but that’s not important. What matters is the panties falling off behind you when you twist that throttle.

The Himalayan feels unstable at anything above 130 kmph, the bike vibrates too much, and the 24 horses aren’t enough to keep it pulling forward. The Mojo on the other hand never feels strained, the 300cc, 27 HP machine can cruise happily at 140. The Daytona’s 116 horses can blast both of them to smithereens, and make you feel like the heathen God you always imagined you were, riding far faster than your fat and ugly guardian angels can fly.

Himalayan: 0. Mojo: 0. Daytona: 1.

Himalayan vs. Mojo. vs. Daytona 675: Comfort

Before I talk about comfort, there’s something very important that you must understand.

Comfort is for pussies, hardcore bikers eat broken glass for breakfast, hydraulic suspensions for lunch, and baby vomit for dinner. They drink whiskey from the combustion chambers of a bike that’s still running, smoke weed wrapped in Metzeler M7RRs, and only have sex with exhausts that are red-hot and spitting flames.

Now that we know that, the Mojo is by far the most comfortable of the three. The Himalayan isn’t too bad either, but it’s far too rattly, especially at high speeds, and the sitting position is a bit too straight, your ass ends up taking the entire weight of your body, which is a big issue when going long distances.

The upright sitting position does mean that it’s the most comfortable when you want some footpeg therapy, and riding it off-road while standing straight up is a thing of joy.

The Mojo is just nice because of the combination of a number of nice things. Wide and soft seat, big fuel tank to hold onto with your thighs, a bit-forward biased seating, and a very relaxed riding experience. If you are into touring, it doesn’t get much better than the Mojo.

Contrast that with the Daytona, which basically has a thin sheet of Rexine for a seat, handlebars so far away that you hands and ass end up in different postal codes, and so much G-forces to deal with, both while stopping or accelerating, that you end up feeling like a tick on a cow’s tail.

Himalayan: 0. Mojo: 1. Daytona: 1.

Himalayan vs. Mojo. vs. Daytona 675: Handling

Both Himalayan and the Mojo are grossly overweight for their power output, the Daytona on the other hand feels like one of those Go-Karts that people fit jet engines behind.

The weight destroys the handling of both the Royal Enfield, and the Mahindra, but things are far too stupider with the Mojo than they are with the Himalayan.

Mojo’s Pirelli tires give you the confidence while cornering, but the amazingly retarded exhaust design means that you can never enjoy that experience without being constantly in danger of scraping the pipes, folding the front, and flying off the cliff. The Himalayan was never meant to be a corner craver, but it still does surprisingly well at handling twisties, even with those shit tires.

Things continue in the same direction off the road, where the Himalayan is a vastly more capable bike. The Mojo is as much at home in slush as Donald Trump is in a Gay Mexican Muslim’s basement.

But both of them are simply obliterated in front of the Daytona’s handling, this thing feels like an extension of your dick that you can feel within your soul, make it do what you want it to.

Of course since you are stupid enough to compare these 3 bikes, it’s obvious that you don’t even remotely have the skills to use the Triumph the way it’s meant to be used, but hey, fuck that, it’s all about how fast you can go in a straight line between two trucks that are overtaking a third truck.

Himalayan: 0. Mojo: 1. Daytona: 2.

Himalayan vs. Mojo. vs. Daytona 675: Sound

The Himalayan sounds like 3 fat guys having sex inside a used soda can. The Mojo sounds like a motorcycle that’s sad about its existence. The Daytona sounds like God giving you a blowjob while you are floating naked in a river of roses.

It’s all about the character of the engine, and the way the sound is let out into this world. Both the Himalayan and the Mojo are singles, so there’s not even a small chance of anything spectacular. Royal Enfields have traditionally sounded like shit, but the Himalayan takes it to a whole other level. I think both the engine and the exhaust are responsible for this atrocity, and the lack of EFI doesn’t help either.

The Mojo has the potential to sound better than it currently does, if someone at Mahindra has the brains to make it into a single-silencer setup. The double pipes not only look idiotic, they don’t sound anything great either, especially without baffles.

And then there’s the Daytona, the triple has the bass of an inline-4, and the soul of Led Zeppelin live concert. At low speeds, it makes that high-pitched whirring sound, as you speed up, there’s a chorus from the throaty exhaust, and then there’s the screaming at the top end. It’s a fucking 12 piece orchestra crammed inside the crank case.

Himalayan: 0. Mojo: 1. Daytona: 3.

Himalayan vs. Mojo. vs. Daytona 675: Fuel economy

Always remember that True Bikers never care about mileage, converting fuel into Brrrraaaapp is the purpose of our existence, and it doesn’t matter how much prehistoric dinosaur black jizz it takes to get that done.

The Himlayan should ideally be rather thrifty with fuel, but thanks to Royal Enfield’s “traditional” hate towards anything logical,  it’s engine is as efficient as one those used in the first steam trains. On top of that, the heavy weight makes things worse, with the flimsy carb adding more fuel to the fire.

The Mojo gives only a tiny bit more mileage than the Himalayan, but that’s mostly because it always ends up carrying unnecessary weight around. Cut off that ugly head, slash away the ghastly exhaust, and I guarantee it would happily stay above 35 kmpl, no matter how much you push. In any case, it’s ginormous 21 liter fuel tank give it a massive range on full tank, without any of the ill effects of carrying so much weight up front. Nothing else is this good.

The Triumph is simply above all this puny nonsense, people who buy Daytonas don’t need to worry about fuel stops, their tanks are automatically filled up while they are riding by 93 Octane fairies. 

Himalayan: 0. Mojo: 2. Daytona: 3.

Himalayan vs. Mojo. vs. Daytona 675: Quality and Equipment

Aha! We are back in the Daytona territory.

The Himalayan’s build quality feels like it was made by a bunch of bored college students for a class project that didn’t matter. The Mojo, although good in the quality of materials and the craftsmanship, is a weirdly designed machine that makes it hard to maintain eye contact with it. The Daytona is a piece of automotive art, sculpted by da Vinci, made with the iron mined by pure virgins, coated with a fine dust of angel cough and crushed 1000 Rupee notes. 

The Himalayan comes with a suspension package that was constructed by a roadside tea seller. The Mojo gets imported Paioli shockers that are both sweet and sexy. The Daytona’s suspension is made by hundreds of hairless white scientists in dazzling white lab coats who know more than you can imagine, and who float away into a thousand flower petals when it’s time to die.

The Himalayan’s chassis was designed by taking an old Royal Enfield 350’s frame, and then repeatedly crashing it into a wall. The Mojo’s chassis was scribbled by Anand Mahindra as he was taking a shit in the morning, right before he gave away billions of dollars for charity. Daytona’s chassis was designed by Guy Martin, improved by Marc Marquez, tested by Toby Price, and kissed by Valentino Rossi.

I think you get what I’m trying to say. The Daytona is the shit, rest all are little tiny scared dust bunnies in front of it. Sure it costs like 10 times what others do, but who cares? It’s not like you are spending your own money that you earned through hard-work and sacrifices, while constantly battling against social commitments, job demands, family needs and personal aspirations.

Himalayan: 0. Mojo: 2. Daytona: 4.

Himalayan vs. Mojo. vs. Daytona 675: Verdict

As is quite clear from the last 1500 words or so, the Daytona is the one you should be getting. It doesn’t matter what type of riding you enjoy, how costly spares and service can be, or what your skill level is, you must always buy the fastest, biggest thing you can regularly masturbate to on the internet, or risk being not identified as a True Biker, which is like totally legit and a very exclusive club with groupies and shit, something you simply can’t afford to ignore.

If, however, you are very clear in your riding goals, your decision might be a bit different. If, for example, you don’t enjoy long-distance riding, instead the charm of deserted jungles and tasty trails is all that you want, the Himalayan is the bike for you. If you like traveling across the country, sleeping in a new couch every night, meeting strangers and eating weird dishes, Mojo is your friend.

One bike can’t do it all, one bike can’t be a track tool, a trail torturer, and a touring thug. If you believe that’s possible, you are a twat.

There’s never a need to get confused between such different motorcycles, the answer is always within you. Test ride them both, you’ll instantly know what you want. Ask yourself what your purpose is in buying this thing. Look at your old riding photos, remember the times when you had the most fun, then pick a bike that would make that fun even more epic.

Read ownership reviews, ask people who are satisfied/dissatisfied with their bikes, use your fucking brain. Just because one journalist claims one bike is better than the other, because one manufacturer paid him more money than the other, doesn’t make it a fact.

Motorcycling is a very personal thing, don’t depend on shit reviews from fat, lazy fucks to decide your future.

  • Ashish Jat

    Man you crossed the limit. I really want to sue you 😀

    • Akhil Kalsh

      Please take a token 🙂

  • Rahul P

    Uh umm, so if you’re aiming for the “It doesn’t matter what type of riding you enjoy, how costly spares and
    service can be, or what your skill level is, you must always buy the
    fastest, biggest thing you can regularly masturbate to on the internet,
    or risk being not identified as a True Biker,”

    Ze gold standard of zis dick measuring contest is ze Hayabusa.

    I think, though now the H2 is something that rivals its aura. Some might say it’s the R1 that’s the holy grail of True-bikers, or the Ducati Panigale. The Daytona is small fry in a shark tank.

    • Akhil Kalsh

      🙂 Never ridden a liter class bike.

  • KS

    Hi Akhil, Nice Article as always…for me I think the Mojo can be best compare with Honda CBR 250R..they share pretty-much same characters…

    • Akhil Kalsh

      CBR is more capable than the Mojo in many areas, but Honda’s policies just turn me off completely.

  • kazi

    Great article loved it
    Lol you fucked the royal enfield

    • Akhil Kalsh

      Fucking Royal Enfields is my number one hobby.

  • adie mohan

    This is by far the worst piece I’ve ever read. Wtf? I’m sure you’ll compare a Maruti 800 to a Nissan GTR next month.

    • Akhil Kalsh

      Hmmmm, not a bad idea.

    • Rex

      Way to totally miss the point of the article. Or didn’t you notice this line at the beginning?

      I’ve received similar questions from a lot of readers, people who for some fucking reason are confused between 3 seemingly unrelated motorcycles, just because all have 2 wheels, and between 4-7 gears.

  • RJN

    In other news, 2 days back a motovlogger from other side of the world who literally has the word ‘noob’ in his YouTube account name managed to crash his Daytona and break his neck (for real). Apparently Mr.Noob decided that after six months on a Yamaha R3, that, he was way too talented for the puny R3.

    • Akhil Kalsh

      Damn man. Even though such people are obviously stupid and I’ve mocked them on this website plenty of times, it does pain you to hear someone had to pay such a huge price for a relatively small mistake.

      • RJN

        He’s all right even though he will be wearing that neck brace kinda thingy for a while. Fortunately his body is still fully functional except for a few broken bones. He wasn’t a complete noob. As far as I’ve seen he has full riding gear in every video.

        • Akhil Kalsh

          Half retards can be more dangerous than full ones, but glad that he’s OK.

    • Akhil

      hahahah…….’yammie noob’ i suppose……his ‘riders you will meet’ videos are so cool man

  • kanth_f1

    I would love to see you do the comparo for the 3 Kwackers in the market right now, the ER6n, Ninja 650 and the Versys 650, as all I hear from every other person is, Versys is the best, something which I can’t understand how can a single bike be good in all conditions. Even seen videos of auto journalists state the same shit about how good that bike is when compared to its faired and naked siblings, the same shit I have read in Team BHP too as to how much they oogle their priced possession even mocking the others, just because they think that they have the best with them and also the whole world is going ga-ga about it.

    • Akhil Kalsh

      Will try! The problem is that I don’t like to review a bike unless I ride it for a good enough distance, and that’s generally hard to do.

  • kishan soni

    What the fuck you are unbelievable bhai.. it was more hilarious then “why you’ll never buy Royal Enfield”.. LOL

    • Akhil Kalsh

      🙂

  • Rakesh Narayanan

    I took a Pulsar 220, say something about that. Like 100 words.

    • Akhil Kalsh

      🙂 It doesn’t work like that.

  • Dr Kanishq

    I’m sure some HD Street 750 owner in Mumbai and some 2007 Grey Market R1 owner in Gurgaon just read this and committed suicide by jumping from their own bikes and deleted all the Facebook posts before doing it.

    What an article. Sarcasm me likey 🙂

    • Akhil Kalsh

      🙂

  • Abhijeet Baruah

    Wow! Refreshing comparo. Now that this is done, please compare the Duke 390, Triumph Street Twin and the Kawa Versys 650. 😛

    I am sure it will make for an interesting read!

    • Akhil Kalsh

      🙂

  • Sushil Choudhari

    What on earth did i just read? Fucking amazing! Fuck every Indian mag, this is real shit right in the ass coming out with dildo!

    • Akhil Kalsh

      🙂

  • aradhya verma

    Pliss to share the inspiration of this hilarious article. The link, that is.

    • Akhil Kalsh

      It wasn’t one article man that inspired me, it’s the shitload of articles I’ve read over the years comparing bikes that shouldn’t be compared.