Category Archives: Rants

Dear “Dear George” writer, fuck off

I would like to begin this article by extending you an olive branch, and invite you to unfuck yourself by gently sliding your fist out of your rectum. I understand why you are doing what you are doing, I have done it myself, here’s one example. My work against Lorenzo might be a bit more… Read More »

Lavasa: A culture of street racing, ignorance, and bad choices

A good article is like a fart. You get the idea, you chew it into smaller ideas, digest all of them, and out comes a beautiful tootsie that relieves your system of distress, while making a cute sound. An idea that stays in your system for too long leads to either constipation, or diarrhea, both… Read More »

Pakistan, riding gear, warranty, and war

Most people don’t realize this, or choose to ignore it, but the majority of riding gear that you can buy in India at a reasonable price, especially the leather stuff, is made in Pakistan. Putting aside for the moment all the insanely intricate politics and history that neither I nor you are an expert on,… Read More »

A simple guide to handling Street Racers

There have been many names, Squids, Roadside Rossis, Street Racers. For the purpose of this article, let’s call them Squids, since Street Racer can be used in a different context, and Roadside Rossi is too long. Here’s my definition. A Squid is someone on a motorcycle who purposely rides dangerously, knowingly fucks with other road users,… Read More »

“You should respect all bikers” is a stupid thing to say

Piss off, all of you. “You should respect all bikers” is a statement used by half-wit douchebags who don’t deserve any respect. “You should respect all bikes” is a statement used by half-wit douchebags who own bikes that don’t deserve any respect because they are owned by half-wit douchebags. Let’s look at this on a… Read More »

Twat Sports staff sues whore for unfinished blowjobs

New Delhi, 22 August 2016 In a shocking development, the entire staff of popular sports channel Twat Sports today filed a class action suit against an unnamed prostitute for giving blowjobs without orgasms. The lawsuit alleges that the slut was hired for entertaining the employees during working hours, and deepthroated them at multiple times during the… Read More »

Kawasaki India and the stupidity behind big brands

In case you don’t already know, 11 people booked bikes from SNK Kawasaki, Palm Beach, Navi Mumbai. None of them got anything, the dealer isn’t returning the money, and Kawasaki India says they can’t do shit. As always, all the useful stuff is on Team-BHP. If you are wondering why none of this was reported on any… Read More »

Last Week Today: Orgies, RE, and the Government

It’s been a pretty interesting week. From Guy Martin’s announcement of a land speed record attempt, start of the Dakshin Dare, and me of all people getting something from a manufacturer for a review, things have been fun and exciting, mostly. Let’s take a look back at some of the more fascinating things that happened… Read More »

KTM bikes are whores, and they must be treated like whores

There are many different kinds of motorcycles on this planet, and there are many different kind of people too. Different people buy different kinds of motorcycles for different reasons at different times, and different people treat their motorcycles differently for different reasons. Here are the 4 different kinds of mentalities that exist among bike owners:… Read More »

6 reasons why Hyderabad is the worst city to be a biker/driver in

I apologize in advance for the lack of swearing in this article. Even for a guy like me, the words that I’d like to use in describing Hyderabad don’t exist in this universe. If you’d prefer not to read this rant of frustration, just go through this Facebook post and you’ll get the complete picture.… Read More »